As a recovering perfectionist, I struggle to think of myself as a sinner. I hear the phrase “sinners saved by grace,” and while it is a true depiction of our identity in Christ, I sometimes
consider it to mean that sin is in the past. But if I am honest, as long as I walk the earth there will be a sinful nature within my heart.
That is a hard statement for me to swallow. It is easier for me to sweep aside the small, seemingly insignificant transgressions like gossip, pride, and impatience. After all, I love the Lord. I seek Him daily through prayer and Bible reading. I attend church regularly. I serve in ministry. How could I be sinful? Yet the closer I draw to the Lord, the more I sense the grieving of the Spirit over the “small” transgressions that used to seem so unimportant.
I recently sat with the Lord and entered a time of repentance. The world had crept in. Desires for status and good reputation had replaced authenticity and humility. I cried out for His cleansing and His spirit. I asked the Lord to take a large metal rake to the soil of my heart and till the ground until only dark, rich, fertile earth remained. How I long for the sins that plague me to be eliminated from my life! How I long to stand clean and pure before the Lord with a heart that is renewed with a right spirit (Psalm 51:10)!
Romans 8:2 says, “The law of the Spirit of life breathes into you and liberates you from the law of sin and death,” (The Voice). I get joyfully stuck on the word “liberate.” To liberate is to release from a state or situation that limits freedom of thought or behavior. Even the small, seemingly insignificant sins bring bondage. Gossip is bondage to the desire to fit in. Pride is bondage to status and achievement. Impatience is bondage to hurry and busyness. I could go on, but I’m sure you get the idea.
All sin is bondage and bondage leads to spiritual death. Yet the Spirit breathes life. Jesus said, “I have come that you might have life and have it more abundantly,” (John 10:10). The way to the life Jesus offers is through repentance…repentance, even of the small, seemingly insignificant sins that separate us from Him.
As I sat with the Lord during that time of repentance a verse from the old hymn “I Surrender All” came to mind. It says:
All to Jesus, I surrender
All to Him, I freely give
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine
May Thy Holy Spirit fill me
May I know Thy power divine
I mulled over these words and surrender began to take on a new meaning. It began to mean relinquishing the desire to fit in, the desire for achievement, and even the desire to be busy. As I prayed to know His cleansing power, the same freedom and joy I felt when I gave my heart to the Lord as a young girl began to fill me. I felt clean, new, fresh and exuberant.
Friend, I encourage you to ask the Lord, what seemingly insignificant sin lies hidden within my heart? As the Lord reveals it to you, may you know the freedom and joy of true repentance. May His spirit breathe life and liberation to your soul today.
-Liz Cox