The more I learn, the more I realize I have NO IDEA! God is taking me on yet another journey of even deeper learning how He created me. Self-reflection and self-discovery can be emotionally draining and exhausting! Especially when you thought you had already been there and done that! I suppose there are always more layers of the onion to peel away…
I feel deeply and I think thoroughly! On any given day, this can be both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes it is overwhelming. What an interesting predicament it is when “I” overwhelm myself! Ha! I’ve often had the word complex used to describe me- I don’t like that word. It has a negative connotation in my mind and definitely doesn’t cause me to think well of myself. My “complexities” do not allow for me to fit into the mold when it comes to all of the personality tests and quizzes. I’m a bit of this and a lot of that with a sprinkle of another one for good measure. And then put a big pile of whipped cream on top and add a cherry. And don’t even get me started on actually taking the tests! It is miserable for me and causes sweat and stress and a bit of anger too!
The other day, as I was having a moment “being me” and feeling overwhelmed with all that “me” encompasses, a friend offered a different word to describe me.
It was the first time I found goodness in the interesting and complex make-up that is ME. The word used in place of complex was ornate. Ornate. What an exciting word! It is filled with mystery, beauty, and intricacy. I sat with that word for a few moments absorbing what I had heard. Ornate. I like that. I can accept that. I can work with that! And, it’s true! I am quite ornate. I am NOT the fancy kind of ornate! I don’t want sequins, gems, and shiny things! But I AM another kind of ornate. Sort of like an old handmade broach with small hand-painted flowers on pressed clay wrapped in antique gold- THAT kind of ornate! It excites me! The possibilities are endless with this word. God can mold and make me and reveal to me His ornate Goodness that He has placed in my personality. When I think of God, I see Him as ornate. And He chose to place this in me. What an honor! I am no longer bound by my complexities.
I am God’s Child and He has made me ornate.
Now, you may look at my word complex and have completely different thoughts about it. You may love that word. I’m sure it’s a fine enough word. But not for me! It’s abrasive and shameful in my mind. As if something is terribly wrong with me! Like I am too much, too complicated, too messy, too emotional, and too “deep.” One measly word can throw us into a tizzy and most of the time we don’t even know why.
Isn’t it crazy how one word can have such power over us?
The problem is that, for whatever reason, there are lies attached to the word “complex” for me. The more I would hear “complex,” the more the lies would beat at the door of my heart. So, when a new word was spoken – ornate – there were no lies attached. This new word actually revealed more of my Identity in Christ and served to bring about more freedom in me! What a gift!
I do not have to be bound by Satan’s lies. And if something as small as changing a single word helps me, then Praise God that is all it took!
What words rub you the wrong way? What words have been spoken over you that have lies attached to them? The next time a word triggers you or tries to attack your identity, stop and ask yourself “why?” Allow the Lord to unpack it for you and then allow Him to teach you a new word. One that will bring freedom and deeper understanding of God’s purposes for you. I want to encourage you, dear one, there is power in even one word! Allow that to be God’s power and not power from the enemy!
– Christi